ARAPROSDOKIANS

ARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted the paycheck.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of
emergency, notify:” I put 'DOCTOR."
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
27. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

The Garbage Truck

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a
bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your
day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back
on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly you
can get back your focus on what's important.

I learned it in the back of a Harare City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I
hopped in a taxi and we took off for Westgate. We were driving when all of a
sudden a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My
taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back
end by just inches!

Here's what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost
caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad
words at us. How do I know?
Ask any Zimbabwean, some words in Harare come with a special face.

Now, here's what blew me away. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the
guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that?
This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

And this is when my taxi driver told me about what I now call, "The Law of
the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around
full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of
disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And
if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you,
don't take it personal. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
You'll be happy you did. I guarantee it.

So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, How
often do I let "Garbage Trucks" run right over me? And how often do I take
their garbage and spread it to other people: At work, at home, on the
streets?

It was that very day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." Well, now I
have begun to see "Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see
them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a
personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents
know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and
kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present and at
their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let "Garbage Trucks" take
over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting
today, if you let more "Garbage Trucks" pass you by? I believe that you'll
be happier. I guarantee it.
 
By David J. Pollay